Generally I hate the inspirational quotes you get on social media, but I saw one the other day that really got me thinking.
‘God only tests those who can take it’.
Now, I’m not at all religious and I don’t believe in fate or pre-determination, but I am so grateful that Kitty came to us. Not only is she the light of my life, but her difference forces me to be a better person than perhaps I have been in the past.
If you’d asked me 10 years ago how I would cope having a baby missing part of her arm, my answer would have been simple. I wouldn’t.
The 25-year-old me would have raved and cried; felt sorry for herself and dragged the rest of the world down with her. And I certainly wouldn’t have been able to be positive enough to bring up a strong, confident child.
But times have changed. I’ve changed. In those 10 years, I’ve left a town, job and friends I’d known since leaving university to move to a city where I didn’t know a soul. I’ve pushed myself to address the negativity and anxiety that ruled my early 20s. Challenged myself to diversify in my career and grasped every opportunity that came my way. And best of all, met the love of my life and the most unerringly positive person I know.
Now, I’m not saying I don’t have days when I feel sad and wish this hadn’t happened to Kitty. I still get those ‘why us’ moments when I’m lying awake in the middle of the night and I do worry about the extra challenges she’ll face.
But those 10 years of challenging myself have hopefully given me what I need to help Kitty become the incredible person I know she’s going to be.
I’ll teach her to be positive, confident and inquisitive and push past the things that scare her. To use intellect and humour to put would-be bullies in their place; to never concern herself with what other people think. And most of all, to believe in herself and embrace every opportunity with both arms – big and little.
There will be tough times and we’re all going to have to adapt and pull together as a family. Our little gang against the world.
But I’ll never forget how lucky I am to have this amazing little girl in my life and I’ll do anything in my power to make her happy.
So whatever brought Kitty to me, whether some benevolent deity, quirk of fate or glitch in genetics, all I can say is ‘thank you’. I’m the luckiest mummy alive.