an exciting new chapter

Having a baby is always life-changing. But when you’re told at the 20-week scan that your baby is missing part of her arm, life really does change forever.

At first there’s the shock – that horrible wave of heat and nausea that sweeps over you whenever a medical professional says ‘I just need to check something with a colleague’.

Then the disbelief and sadness. The ‘why us?’ The constant shifts from excitement to apprehension and back again.

But eventually, after lots of talking, tears and some amazing support from the NHS, we realised that yes, we can do this. We can make our little girl a happy, confident child who can do absolutely anything she wants. And this blog is my way of hopefully helping other parents who get the same heart-stopping diagnosis to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And to remind myself that we’re doing OK. Mostly…

This is the story of the incredible Miss Kitty.

Kitty at eight hours old

Kitty at eight hours old

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13 Comments

  1. Bit emotional … Having met this little lady, I know how lucky she is to have devoted loving parents who will cherish and nurture her even when she makes George’s marvellous medicine out of everything in the bathroom cabinet or sets golden syrup solid to a teaplate trying to breakfast in bed for her Mummy. Xxx can’t think who would do that? Good luck with the blog

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  2. A friend sent me this link to your blog.
    This is a subject very close to my heart, I’m 30 weeks pregnant and also found out at my 20week scan my little boy is missing his right arm from above the elbow down.
    Will be following miss kitty’s blog with lots of interest.

    Sending lots of love to the little lady xxx

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    1. Hi Jo,

      So lovely to hear from you. That was exactly the reason I decided to set up this blog and if I can offer some help and support to one person, I’ve achieved what I set out to.

      I’m sorry you’ve had such shocking news but believe me, the excitement returns and by the time your baby arrives, you probably won’t even be thinking about it. I forgot to even look at Kitty’s arm when she arrived!

      If there’s anything I can help with, just get in touch. And if you haven’t already, join the charity Reach. They’re a great support and can share plenty of incredible success stories.

      Keep me updated on your progress and thanks again for getting in touch.

      Liz and Kitty

      Xxx

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  3. So great to read about your amazing love for your little girl. It’s clear that will be more defining for her than her disability. She’s going to thrive!

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    1. Hi Rowena,

      Thanks so much for your kind words. That’s the plan – to give her as much as love and encouragement as possible to give her the confidence to do whatever she wants. Not easy, but we’re determined!

      Liz and Kitty

      Xxx

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  4. Kitty will brow up to be a beautiful and confident young lady, especially if you make sure that you make sure she has a go at everything – nothing is impossible. I didn’t know about my daughters missing left lower arm during pregnancy and I am glad I didn’t. She is now a beautiful, confident 15 year old who is at the moment like any other 15 year old getting ready for a party tonight and can do her hair and make up far better then I can. She has a can do attitude and will have a go at anything.
    Look forward to hearing how things go with Kitty

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    1. Thanks Rebecca, that’s really reassuring to hear. We’re keen for her to give everything a go and never feel like there’s anything she can’t do. And it sounds like your daughter is a great example of that! Thanks so much for your support x

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  5. Hi Liz
    I can’t believe how similar our stories are we have our beautiful daughter Ava who is 9 days old. We found out at a 16 week scan that she had an absent lower left forearm and hand, like you there were lots of tears especially as our 12 week scan report said she had a left hand!! We were also referred to a foetel medicine centre and we opted for amniocentesis which fortunately came back clear. We are still getting used to telling people but it is getting easier I do worry about the future but will take each day as it comes. I look forward to following your blog Sharon x

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    1. Hi Sharon. It’s amazing how common it seems to be, and how few answers they have for you. We found that when we told people, their reactions were generally a fraction of what we expected, and we’re yet to have any comments or even reactions from strangers. I’m sure the day will come though! I find that I don’t really even think about Kitty’s arm now. She’s doing really well and I’m sure Ava will do the same. Hope you’re settling in to family life and managing to get some sleep! Keep in touch x

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  6. We also found out at our 20 week scan, but unlike you we didn’t really get the support from the NHS.
    We now have a very confident two and a half year old daughter with Below left elbow congenital amputation, who will try everything and yes at the moment she does need a little help now and again but only when she’s tried a few times. She amazes me everyday and I’m so proud of all her achievements so far, kitty will amaze you daily and Reach have been a life saver putting my mind at ease over silly `what if`

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    1. Hi Emma. It’s great to hear that your daughter is doing so well and proves kids can do anything they put their minds to. I’ll definitely be turning to Reach for support and other mums for advice on the practical things. Thanks so much for getting in touch x

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  7. Your blog resonates with me so much! We found out at our 20 week scan that our little man was missing his left hand. Thankfully, he was born with a working wrist joint and thumb. I really appreciate you posting your life here, as I find comfort in reading your blogs and feeling the exact. same. way. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And Miss Kitty is beautiful, and perfect. xoxo

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    1. Hi Nicole. That’s great to hear as that was exactly my intention. I was so worried when we found out, but it really hasn’t been an issue so far, and I wanted other parents to know it’ll be OK. I promise I’ll get back to writing some more blogs too!x

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